The 10 Most Shocking Game of Thrones Deaths

Valar Morghulis indeed!

This is the part where I warn those who aren't caught up on the show about massivespoilers for every inch of HBO's Game of Thrones that has aired so far. The article's about GoT deaths! What're you even doing in here?

So here we are, almost a week out from the Purple Wedding. Where King Joffrey once again made a huge spectacle of himself.

Though, this time it was by violently gurgling to death in front of everyone at his wedding reception.

Yet another shocking turn of events for a show that's re-written the book (even the ones it's based on) on shocking events. And so while we all lay back in the comfortable afterglow of King Douchey's demise, let's look back at some of the most shocking deaths from the past three seasons.

And no, not every death is shocking. Bloody, painful deaths are pretty much the way of the world when it comes to Westeros. It takes a very special death to make us sit up in our seats and go "Whoa, they're not messing around!"

King Joffrey Baratheon

Yes, let's start off with the big death from last week's "The Lion and the Rose." The one that many considered to be a glorious gift from author George R. R. Martin - compensation for so many beloved characters getting snuffed out over the years. Proof that a shocking death didn't have to make us angry or sad. It could lift our spirits and give us a newfound faith in the material.

Downblouse.

So there was Joffrey, oozing his face off in front of hundreds of lords and lades from all over the realm. Sure, a "Who Poisoned the King?" mystery could be fun, but keep in mind that we were still never given a hard answer regarding who killed Jon Arryn back in Season 1. Yeah, remember that old puzzle?

Mycah the Butcher's Boy

Speaking of Season 1, and our long-standing hate for Joffrey, one of the ways Game of Thrones showed us it meant business was by almost immediately killing children and dogs. Soldiers? Whatever. Grown ass politicians? Who cares. The first episode ended with Bran almost dying, but in the second episode - "The Kingsroad" - we found out the hard way that it just didn't pay to stand up to bullies. And by that, I mean Arya standing up to bullies and then her lowborn friend Mycah paying the price for it.

It feels so far off now, being all the way back in the second episode, but I think it's important to look back at this event given what a "fan favorite" The Hound's become as of late. And though Arya's at his side now, she still holds him accountable for this monstrous deed. Even if he was only following Joffrey's orders (*cough* without a peep of protest).

Viserys Targaryen

Season 1 was a strange time indeed as many were still trying go figure out what Daenerys' role in the overall series was. Hell, it took more than a few episodes for non-book readers to even connect the dots and figure out how her family figured into the past events in Westeros. And so, as much as we hated her older brother Viserys, we certainly weren't expecting anything to drastically change in her world.

Fondue? Fondon't,

Then Khal Drogo poured a bowl of molten gold on Viserys' head and we all gave the show a slow clap followed by an appropriate "not bad" facial expression. Not only had many considered Viserys' to be a major character who normally, by the rules of TV, would have been safe, but he was someone we hated and wanted to see die. By the way, only one of those traits would carry on throughout the show. No one was safe, that was true. But it would be a long ass time before we saw someone truly villainous get their just desserts. Like, say, choking on dry pigeon pie.

Khal Drogo

Let's stay with Dany's world a bit longer so that we can mourn the surprising passing of her "sun and stars," Khal Drogo. Another moment when the story tricked us into thinking we were watching a character who'd stick around for a long time. A character who'd never ever, say, succumb to a fluke infection brought about by a scrape. Of course, we later discovered that there was some Lhazareen mysticism involved, but it was still a rather ignoble way to meet defeat.

This could be us but you playin!

Making things worse, Dany made a blood pact with the witch to revive Drogo, and wound up having to smother him to death after she was left with nothing but a lobotomized lunk. Still, this was probably the most stable, loving relationship on all of Game of Thrones

Ser Rodrik Cassel

No, Ser Rodrik wasn't a character who the fans clung to in any meaningful way, but his death was still a doozy as it essentially represented the "Fall of Winterfell" at the end of Season 2. Remember, most viewers were still laboring under the delusion of "well,nothing else could possibly happen to The Starks."

Still, at least Rodrik got to go out like a badass. Basically giving as few "f***s" as possible while Theon tried to make him fall in line. Too bad his neck was so thick and Theon's chopping arm was so weak that it took several hacks to separate head from body.

Lord Commander Jeor Mormont

Sadly, there aren't many surprising deaths up at Castle Black and Beyond The Wall. Unless you count all deaths as surprising. Which you really shouldn't when you're dealing with a band of thieves, killers and rapists swearing an oath to protect the realm from psycho hill people and ice zombies. Because "death by dirty marauder and/or frozen, undead demon" is all part of the game.

And much like Ser Rodrik, Commander Mormont (Jorah's dad for those who'd never made the connection) wasn't exactly anyone to dedicate a Tumblr blog to. But he did represent stability in Jon's crazy world. Much like Rodrik with Bran's world. So to see Mormont get gutted by his own mutinous underlings was not only shocking, but it left us all with a morbid "What the frak's the Night Watch going to do now?" feeling.

Renly Baratheon

In which the War of the Five Kings quickly become the Scuffle of the Four Guys.

Oh, Renly. You can fill your camp with soldiers and surround your tent with guards, but absolutely nothing can protect you from a sinister shadowy vapor version of your brother Stannis stabbing you in the back with a blade made of black mist.

"Delete...my...browser history."

And we had just barely gotten over the shock of seeing Melisandre giving birth to this unholy cloud of demon residue. And there it was, within a few scenes of the next episode, hissing its way into Renly's inner circle and gas-sassinating him in front of Catelyn and Brienne. Fratricide at its most foul and foggy

Eddard "Ned" Stark

Remember how everyone's jaw dropped back when Ned was beheaded in Season 1? Seems so run of the mill now.

"I hope someone avenges me. Literally anyone. I'll take whatever."

How young and innocent we all were back then. It was cute how much we thought that Sean Bean's Ned was going to be the main character on the series. And that he'd get to the bottom of the Jon Arryn murder mystery and triumph as a hero. Adorable. Ooh, I could just pinch our collective cheeks.

It's funny how often the show chooses to teach us that no one is safe, only for us to almost immediately forget the lesson a few episodes later. But yeah, Ned's big spectacle of a death at the end of the episode "Baelor" was basically the defining moment for the series - whether you're talking about the books or the show. It also tricked many people into thinking that Robb Stark was destined to be the hero of the story. HAHAHAHA THIS IS FUN!

Talisa Stark (née Maegyr)

Okay, so I'm separating Talisa's heinous death out from the rest of the Red Wedding carnage. I know. It's weird. But not only was she the first to get taken out, but the sight of seeing a pregnant woman stabbed right in the stomach was next-level disturbing. Still the hardest death to watch out of all the mayhem in "The Rains of Castamere" if you ask me.

Talisa's reaction to her own death in the Red Wedding. Posted on YouTube.

Plus, the character of "Robb's wife" (she was an all together different person in the books) wasn't even at the Red Wedding in the novel A Storm of Swords. So the show could have done the same here. It could have left her out of the picture. But producers/writers D.B. Weiss and David Benioff chose to include her in the mass mutilation. Oh, and make her "with child." Yes, if there was a "salt in gaping wound" moment for the book readers, it was this one.

Robb Stark, Catelyn Stark, and a S***load More

And then there's the rest. Robb, Catelyn, Greywind, many a drunken Stark bannerman. All done in at the cruel hands of Walder Frey and Roose Bolton.

How'd I do?

The trauma inflicted on unsuspecting viewers by the Red Wedding is now etched in history. With so much notoriety that the term's now become an easy reference point for "the worst thing you've ever seen." It can also be used as a verb and an adjective for any and all occasions when something goes horribly wrong in your life. Funny how we so quickly we shrug off moments of sadness and despair by deflecting our feelings with humor. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to think up a funny caption to put under the picture of Roose Bolton murdering Robb Stark.

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